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Calm down, it isn’t quite as bad as this.
Time to address the elephant in the room.
Well, now on page 127 it is time to apologize.
To all you brave transport workers, keen decorators, and hard-working movers: It was not our intention to make our beds so "?#@*&%!" heavy. It just happens when you are obsessed with creating the highest possible sleep quality and resolutely refuse to compromise.
Take a Hastens 2000T, for example. It consists of 36.7 kilos of pine, n8.6 kilos of steel, and 47.8 kilos of natural fibers - horsetail hair, wool, cotton and flax. (And - if you will allow us to boast a bit more - this doesn't even include the weight of our knowledge).
A total of 203.1 kilos so that you, dear Hastens owners, shall feel almost weightless when you lie on it. One positive side effect of the bed's weight is that it stays still and quiet.
Why do we make such an effort? Because if every night you get the deepest sleep you can, then you'll be better equipped with the energy, strength and joy you need to face the trials and tribulations of everyday life. Like having to carry such a "?#@*&%!" heavy bed if the circumstances arise.
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Somebody has been lying in your bed 500,000 times before you get to do so.
Nothing can reveal the true stamina of a mattress quite like our Riksrumpa. We refer to this faux derriere as "The National Asset" since it is modelled after the buttocks of the average Swedish adult. It is certainly the highlight of our test lab where it sits down to ensure we live up to our promises.
Our toughest test is pure torture (even for our test manager's patience). The National Asset sits down 500,000 times on our test bed with its "legs" over the side - in the same way that you do before you lie down to go to sleep. Since you normally go to bed once a day, this corresponds to 500,000 days.
That would be 1,370 years. It's as if the bed had been in daily use since the Middle Ages and the springs had not yielded a single millimeter. Because, if they had, we would have changed the design long ago. Now you understand that Hastens really strives to give you heightened sleep quality and comfort that goes the distance night after night, dream after dream. And awakening after awakening.
Of course, we also meet the highest requirements of leading test institutes. Every aspect of our beds has been tested right down to the molecular level. All of our fabrics, for example, have been awarded Standard 100, product class 1 by Oeko-Tex. It is usually called baby class because it poses one of the toughest health requirements chat exist in the furniture industry.
So, if you really want to get to the bottom of mattress quality, you know where to turn.
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Nobody knows how long a Hastens bed can last. (We have found one which has been used for over 90 years.)
In Sweden, people live longer than in most other places on Earth. Researchers believe this is because Swedes are reasonably happy people. Perhaps we have less to worry about, and many of us have an active, healthy lifestyle. That's why on average, men here can expect to wake up 29,585 mornings and women 30,681 mornings.
One more reason why investing in a bed that can last makes good sense. Now, we certainly don’t have records of every bed we’ve manufactured or where they are today. But the last time we searched, we did find one owner still sleeping in a Hastens bed that was manufactured in 1907. Thus a bed built 100 years ago, long before the Russian Revolution.
Beds with a long life are naturally good for your wallet, but more importantly, they are good for the planet. This at a time when the world needs environmental sustainability more than ever.
The pine for our bed frames comes from northern Sweden, where conifers can grow up to 400 years old. Such trees deserve respect. In our eye, a tree like this shouldn’t end up as an anonymous paper bag in a grocery store; it should get a new, dignified life. Perhaps as a bed that will last for an additional hundred years until 2118.
When the day comes that the bed will be put to sleep for good, the frame can be recycled and get yet another start, perhaps this time as pencils for our great-great-grandchildren to sketch their ideas for the future?
While none of us may live as long as a hastens, it’s reassuring to know that its craftsmen have dedicated themselves to help us make the most of every morning we have.